People carry some dominant theme through their statement of presence. This theme is the summation of their overall impression. It may be, I am not here: the face is vacant in expression; the physical body makes no impact and is energetically dull. It could be, I am excited, or overexcited, to be here: there is expectancy, anticipation, and you may feel drawn into the transaction. It may be, Look at this huge weight I am carrying, as the client slowly sits in the seat with apparently great effort and the very air has to move as the words release from their mouth. It can be the seductive and endearing, You will like me and it is imperative that you find me attractive: the client plays with facial expressions and physical poses and postures, expressing with the face, legs, hands, and feet, and the torso in an orchestrated attempt to incite positive feeling.

Other dominant presenting themes include: I am interesting because I am full of secrets, I am haunted, Don’t touch me or I will break, You’re not as good as (my dad, my previous therapist, my old boyfriend), or the disdainful You’re just not good enough.

Primary Modes of Access

Each of us favors one of the three centers – mental, emotional, and physical – as a way to encounter life. Some of us lead the encounter with our minds, some with our hearts, and others with our physical bodies. Those of us who favor the mind are systematic, organized, and analytical. We approach events conceptually and rationally. Emotionally-led people may strike us as irrational or unreasonable and physically-led people we may judge as inferior or at least more basic than us.

Those of us who favor the heart are emotional and often demonstratively spontaneous. We tend to find mentally-focused people over-complex, dry, and guarded. The physically-led person appears reckless and shallow, as they meet life events with mere intention and motivation, lacking in emotion, which appears colorless and futile to the emotionally-dominated person.

The physically-led person is tactile, strong, and will-centered. They may be involved with Tai Chi, martial arts, sports, marathon running, or yoga. If they are it will be a powerful pursuit for them, an intense and necessary part of their life in which they experience themselves in a connected and significant way. Mental people are too airy for the physically-centered person, although they may secretly admire them. People with mental access move and communicate in a world of mystery and obscurity to the person with primary physical access. To some degree similarly, the emotionally led person is a bewildering event, exhibiting overmuch feeling, passion, and sensitivity with no active justification.

Know yourself and know your clients, using your body awareness to understand more deeply how the world and others in it appear.

Richard Harvey is a psycho-spiritual psychotherapist, spiritual teacher, and author. He is the founder of The Center for Human Awakening and has developed a form of depth-psychotherapy called Sacred Attention Therapy (SAT) that proposes a 3-stage model of human awakening. Richard can be reached at [email protected].

Blog entry #173