Is there ego or not? Do we have one? Is it desirable at all? What is it? Why are we so confused with the endless spiritual messages—usually negative—concerning ego?

The word ego simply means "I." It denotes the self-sense; when born a human being we participate in some identity and recognize it as our self. In western psychology it has been judged "a good thing." In eastern spirituality it has been judged "a bad thing." This is because the religions and philosophies of the east have tended to be preoccupied with transcending the world and those of the west have been concerned with preparing in this world for an afterlife. Thus, for example, Indians have a downer on ego, while Europeans tend to rely on ego for mental health. In the west we have overemphasized ego; in the east they have denied ego. One way of dealing with this twin imbalance is to synthesize east and west. Vivekananda did this when he said that Indian boys instead of learning meditation should play football.

In Sacred Attention Therapy, we clarify the process of ego by practically observing and revealing that it has a different role and function according to what stage of psycho-spiritual development we're in. For example, it does little good to say to someone in the first two stages of awakening that the ego doesn't exist—a popular shibboleth for advaita adherents today... and before I get spiritually assassinated by the advaita zealots just allow me enough breath to tell briefly this wonderful story of Ramana Maharshi, the Indian saint who perhaps more than anyone was responsible for introducing us to this profound teaching.

When a Moslem contractor who was harvesting tamarind at Ramana's ashram catapulted stones at the monkeys, he inadvertently killed one. The monkeys carried the corpse to Ramana in their grief and anger to gain his wisdom. After joining with them in and mirroring their distress, he said, "Death is inevitable for everyone who is born. He at whose hands this monkey died will also meet with death one day. There is no need to grieve." Pacified by Ramana's loving kindness, the monkeys left carrying the corpse.

Now, we notice Ramana did not say there is no ego, no body, no self. He didn't choose to slap sense into them. He simply met the situation and reflected the events clearly and compassionately in a way that was appropriate.

Please (this to the advaitists) stop telling all the world that there is no I, no self, no body, and so on. It can only be interpreted by many of us as a nihilist philosophy leading to despair. Some people are fragile in mind and heart, some are damaged and wounded. Some are trying very hard to build a strong sense of self, an ego, and perhaps in time they will find themselves ready to receive the teachings of no-self.... but they are not ready, not yet.

You would not teach this to a young child and many of us are still like young children... So don't catapult stones at us.